When I first started this webpage, I tried to explain why to give Neocities and other free website or blog platforms a try. In this mega-post & 6 month update, I wlll explain my reasoning for personal websites and hobby websites.
(While I have written a few times about this meta-topic, I tried not to write too much about it during the first few months. This is because I was aware of the honeymoon effect when starting something brand new, and I wanted to wait until after that period to write more about why.
I know that 6 months is still young in terms of a website, when they can often last for years. However, I think that over time running a website is more about adding new features or sections or maintaining things, and thus becomes mundane and less interesting to talk about. Because of that, this will likely be my last meta-post on this topic for now.)
When on most social media, things are auto-sorted for you. Either in new-to-old order, or "for you" order which is algorithm based. The point is you either don't have control over the sorting, or have limited control over it.
Posts often have a short life span, and with high churn, require constant updates to maintain. On a blog, posts grow a library over time and are easy to find. People can pick for themselves what topics fit them best. Sharing is easy too, as every post has a unique address on the same main web domain.
Something I've learned with making a website is you will have to learn how to organize and sort your information.
And many more questions. It can be a bit intimidating at first, but there's also a sense of freedom. You can make your site look whatever way you want to.
The personal website is the blank canvas of the web. The big sites are more like paint by numbers, you can pick a few colors here and there, but the outline and layout is already decided.
Not everyone needs to have a personal website, but I think there are many people out there who haven't experienced this before. Much like people are rediscovering physical media, I think there are people who are rediscovering what a web page used to be.
Your website doesn't have to be about you unless you want it to be. It can be about your favorite hobby, or a collection, or about something that matters to you. And yes sometimes sites might be abandoned halfway through, or the owner gets busy, or does something else instead. But I think there's plenty to learn about and enjoy here. It doesn't need to go viral or have huge numbers to be worth trying.
Also, I see myself viewing other big websites differently than before. I don't see them only visually, but "how would I make this if it were my website?".
Something I've noticed while writing for my blog and reading other blogs is, they are more important than you'd think at first glance. While images and eventually video became more trendy, I think there's a reason many people started with blogging.
Blogging is accessible (free to start with no word caps) and a way to practice writing and organizing thoughts in a structured way. Did you know that some books actually started as blogs or newsletters first? Older people probably do, but younger people might not know that.
In fact, blogs can have some things in common with writing prompts. (Depending on what kind of blog it is) When I heard prompts like "write 1000 words everyday!", I thought "wow, that sounds really hard!". (really!) But a lot of my blog posts go past 10K words! I never thought I could write that much on my own!
Sure I write lengthy and frequently for personal use, but it's different seeing it in this kind of format compared to small response posts or instant messages. I was so busy trying to squeeze myself into less than 200 characters or trying different formats, I didn't think of giving writing a serious try until now.
When I blog I like to write down a bunch of subheadings as my outline. This gives me a rough idea of what topics I want to cover. (Although in the future I might try doing less mega-posts, and letting the subheadings have their own posts to be more searchable by readers.)
I write some of these posts in 1 session! The longer ones can be in multiple sessions, but it's a quick turn around to me. Editing blog posts is more about organization and fixing errors. I took a long time to get into making videos because editing can be so tedious when replaying the same part over and over.
I also heard some old school/1st generation YouTubers started as bloggers and then converted their writing to video. So maybe you might enjoy doing both like I do.
Summary: I consider blogs the mid point between tweets and books. Longer than tweets, but shorter than books. And sometimes a good rough draft for other formats.
PS: You can also micro-blog outside of social media (aka short & frequent posts). Or do statuses or updates. There's a lot of ways I can't fit here right now, but give them a try!
Websites are an endless work in progress and gradually updating. And by working on them, it feels like it also gives us permission to be that way too.
Running a website goes pretty well with slow productivity in my opinion. You can work on and post an update, and then rest for awhile. The site is still up while you do other things.
I think if I had to explain why I took so long to do this, it's because while I knew I liked writing more than speaking, it felt like the text-based internet faded with time. I felt like there didn't exist a space for people who weren't already professional writers or tweeters. It's a strange feeling, as it's not like anyone banned the making of websites. But more the sense of, why would I do it if there are no readers? Until I came across Neocities, and I realized I wish I had done this sooner! Sometimes you don't understand things until you experience them firsthand.
I realized that I'm not the kind of person that thrives on social media, I thrive making a website. This is what I love to do. I love working quietly in my corner, thinking things out, getting new ideas, and then sharing it here.
So those who wanted something different from social media, here it is. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.
I've heard many people try to use a metaphor to explain what their site and/or blog means to them. And I've found my own.
Not a bird nest, but the human version of nesting. Which is roughly, an area that is a place of comfort, belonging, and stability.
Moving from digital platform to digital platform often felt like constantly changing digital houses. And like IRL constant moving, it felt overwhelming and stressful. This one has these rules, that one only lets you do this, this one has different people, and so on.
I feel so stable here. Not 100% as I don't own a domain and infrastructure yet, but more than before. All of my things are right where I put them. I have quick access to get here. The rules are more relaxed and fair. There's no algorithm banging on my door constantly.
I never really felt like I belonged in any of the other places. I either felt like a bother or a ghost. Like I was trying in vain. Like I was twisting and breaking myself to fit into a mold that wasn't mine. I really wanted to give up.
I feel like I belong here. Yes it's easy to say that is this is my site made by me for me. But, that's the thing. No one has to come here unless they want to. I like that. I don't have to worry about bothering anyone with spam or things they aren't interested in.
I think while there are times I enjoyed the other places, I can't say they were comforting. That's not really what they were for.
I do feel comfort here. I always enjoyed decoration and dress up games. It was much cheaper to decorate a virtual house or virtual person than myself. But I like how here, I get to choose how it looks, and the decorations, and it has my characters and art and stuff.
My thoughts are naturally swarming and buzzing and chaotic. It can be very overwhelming. Like this clip in Steven Universe representing thoughts as butterflies.
Here in my blog, I put out the flowers and food for them, and they stop swarming. They become more relaxed and easier to see. I feel better after coming here, and like this stuff not only helps me, but helps whoever wants to visit here too.
Right now, I'm happy with the way my website is. It's simple to understand and easy to add onto.
However, I think as I gain more experience with coding and website management, I might redesign this site in the future.
I always want my core points to be there, but I want to give this site a bit more life and character to it than right now. I'm not sure when that will be yet.
But I do want to keep the blog very simple, so that may stay similar with only minor behind the scenes adjustments.
Thus far I've been using this page as a mix between personal and professional website. I do have some portfolio-ish elements on here. This may work for some people, but I think for me it muddies both.
So I think in the future I may split off the website into personal and professional versions. I want this place to stay the way it is and with it's personal elements intact.
With all the overwhelm, and brainfog, and addiction, it's time to change. We now understand that 24/7 endless internet at all times isn't a good idea. So I need to set personal boundaries with the internet.
I wrote about earlier this year that content creators are not content machines. And I realized afterwards that, I am not a content machine either.
I often viewed myself as only useful for what I could create and do for others, and my sharing reflected that. I didn't let people see me or my personality or hear my physical voice, because I thought they were all wrong.
I could never see myself the way the people who cared about me did. How could I? But I think I'm starting to get there.
After seeing AI spam content and become literal content machines, I thought, "is that what I want?". No.
I am a creator, and that's a big part of me, but I'm also a person. (or a ghost if you want to go by lore lmao)
I am not just text on a screen, or a computer to spit out images, or someone to yell at.
I am a human creator.
I have thoughts, I have feelings, I have my perceptions of reality.
Try as I might, I can't get rid of those things. "I wish I was some emotional-less robot, then they couldn't get to me!" I thought. I lived that for awhile. You can't sacrifice the negative feelings without sacrificing the positive feelings as well.
Personally, I still think I'm a mess. I'm the equivelent of shoving the dirt under the rug hoping no one will notice.
I'm so tired! The masking, the tiptoeing, the managing it all. Existing with crappy mental health is exhausting. Forging ahead a path I don't know even exists.
So I create, and figure out how to get this dirt and pain and weight out of me in a healthy way.
But sometimes I screw up. Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I do things I regret.
I hope even so, that I can still be there for those who want me to be there. I'm still not good at any of this social and relationship stuff, but I'm trying to be.
In the same way that there are limitations to things like buildboards and physical public advertising IRL, I think the web needs this digitally too. There are some places on the web that need to remain ad-free. I appreciate Neocities (currently) remaining that way.
I am planning on making a support page, and I will edit this with it after. It will include a list of ways to show support, including ways that are 100% free. I'm not sure if anyone else has done this, but who knows maybe others will like the idea too.
(Edit: Can be found here.)
I love supporting creators when I can, but I also agree with people who are tired with the constant ads. Would love to hear suggestions and thoughts. (I really need to fix the email link eventually)
I think to get out of this terminally online space, we need more places that offer pop in and out.
Pop in and log on, check on things, then pop out and log off.
Less endless scrolling, less endless content, less endless chatter.
We need digital places that aren't updated every day, that have no endless scrolling, that let you check in occasionally without FOMO.
I personally would love a forum revival, but anything like that I think can help.
Some people online think that their web-self and IRL-self are the same person. I disagree. This will vary by person though.
Either way, part of changing your relationship with the internet means asking, what do you want for your web-self and what do you want for your IRL-self?
(Edit: Read more about that here.)
If you are not terminally online or a net addict, feel free to skip to the next section. For those who are, I feel you. While I think I am gradually getting away from that point, I still have longer to go.
But what I think we both need to hear is, offline time is important. I'm not going to scold you with a simple "touch grass".
But rather, the internet is by default public. Even things claimed to be "private". If you want something to be truly private, do it offline. Write in a book, or paint on a canvas, or make a recipe without a phone. Listen to music without a screen.
I do get personal on this blog sometimes, but only to a certain extent. I think some things are best saved for diaries or loved ones or therapists. Yes, some people online care about you and are kind. But most of them don't know you IRL and can only do so much. They aren't you, and they can't carry everyone's problems.
There are also some people online who don't care about you and can be cruel. You never know what can be held against you. So be careful. Unfortunately, all it takes it one person who really hates you for things to get nasty. I wish I didn't have to give that warning, but I do.
We've grown up with this awareness of this giant group of internet strangers around. We feel like it's part of us. But it's an illusion. Once the screen is off, so are those people. Unless you have direct contact with them, they only live online.
The impact is real and lasting, yes. I'm not saying you need to go 100% offline. But remember to do things for yourself too. Don't do everything to please people who may or may not care about you. I'm saying this for both you and me. I need to remember these things too.
I want to create online because I enjoy doing it and sharing with people, but I don't want it to be the only thing in my life anymore. (I know I have a virtual character, but I have my reasoning I'll explain at a later date)
I know some older people will be like "duh!", but it gets harder to do this when everything is aiming towards smart features and subscription models.
It turns out too much screen time is indeed a bad thing. I can't get into why it's more complicated than it seems at first glance here, but I wrote about it a bit in this post.
The easiest way to not be distracted is to have devices that don't distract. They have one thing they do really well, and that's it.
When you want to read, read.
When you want to watch, watch.
When you want to listen, listen.
Half paying attention messes with memory and focus. Trust me, I'm still figuring out how to manage that. lol (I'm not saying it's a cure-all, but it helps)
For a very long time I've been searching for answers I wasn't sure I'd ever find the answer to. The big questions in life that everyone hopes to solve. And some that I never thought to look for. I think lately, while my inner anxiety is still buzzing, that I'm getting closer to finding that inner peace and answers.
There's the songs All Is Found and Show Yourself from Frozen 2, and they mean so much to me. I was not a fan when the original film first came out, but despite mixed reception, the 2nd film won me over. I've been wanting to talk about it for awhile, as it felt like something not many were talking about. Maybe another time I'll go more into it, I'm a bit nervous to. The emotional weight of these songs as well as The Next Right Thing have stayed with me for about 5 years soon.
Show Yourself nearly got scrapped from the film, and was tricky for the team to get right. I personally enjoy the original version(*) about self-discovery and self-love, but I understand why that could be difficult to get across to an audience. (* Unfortunately this version doesn't seem to be on YouTube in full but can be seen more in the Making of documentary)
But what I find powerful about the metaphor they give is that, something that was once viewed as horrible and cursed and nothing but trouble (Elsa's powers), transforms. It turns out that it didn't have to be that way. That there was a way to give those same exact things a positive spin. I'm not the best at explaining it, but basically, things aren't always what they seem.
Someone unloved can learn to love and be loved.
Someone seen as bad and weird can find a place where they feel right and belong.
Someone's abilties that are seen as useless to some, can be seen as meaningful to others.
It always makes me cry. Because I've lived that. I used to think I had no place in this world, and that I was a mistake. But I'm happy to say, I was wrong. And I hope some day you'll see why. (where are the onions coming from? T_T)
I rewatched The Hunger Games films recently. I kind of forgot how much I enjoyed them. But something it mentioned that I'm paraphrasing is: hope is like fire, and that hope can spread like fire too.
Courage can be contagious. One person being brave and showing it, can lead to more people inspired by their example.
That's how it was for me. Someone I looked up to was brave, and it inspired me to be braver. And I hope that by doing all these things, and making this site, and to keep trying even when it doesn't work out, that I can pass that torch along to others.
I would love to see more people feeling inspired and hopeful again. If not about the world (that's a big ask), then at least about this little slice of digital space.
As usual this got longer than I originally thought. lol
20K length is a new milestone for me. But I hope you enjoyed it or learned something. Thanks so much for reading!
If you'd like to reply to this I have a comment box and a contact email.
If you'd like to support what I do, I have a Ko-fi.