I feel like I need to give a disclaimer.
I have lurked the NoSurf community for about 6 or 7 years. (I don't remember exactly when I started)
For some people they see the name NOSurf and go "well, you are on the net, so you failed! This is a big oxymoron!"
I consider NoSurf an ideal, more so in an increasingly internet-required world. (QR-only menus?! Seriously?!)
NoSurf doesn't mean No-Internet-Ever.
Some may view it that way, but I think what is really intended is to use the internet purposefully.
If I had to give an example, when someone is struggling with an addiction, it can help to have someone who has been in their shoes and got through it. This is sort of like that. I've been at the extremely addicted end, so I can sympathize with those struggling with it.
I can't give a perfect article about some person who was severely addicted to screens, and then magically in one day was instantly cured.
But what I can give is someone continously trying and struggling, but learning along the way.
If you'd like a less-online version, check out this book. Despite the name, it can apply to various online communities. It's in Kindle and Paperback editions. [not sponsored]
At one point I was extremely pro-online, at another I was extremely anti-online, but considering most people can't pack up everything and live in the woods, I had to find a middle ground.
I often think of my early childhood and use that as a benchmark of what I think the middle ground is at.
There were places where the internet existed, and places it didn't.
The internet was there to do a specific thing, and then you logged off.
It wasn't on you 24/7.
If you wanted to share information, you did so. You didn't sit there waiting for likes to pour in. Maybe comments at most.
If you wanted to have fun, you went to a video site or a game website, played them a bit, and then moved on.
When you followed a website, there often wasn't any new content every day. So you'd check now and again hoping to see an update.
If you wanted to mess around, you just did so. Either keeping it to yourself, or posting and forgetting. If you got lucky, someone would care enough to repost it.
If you were on a forum, you'd look at the threads, see if there was any interesting topics, and waited until next time.
A big red notification didn't decide when you looked at something, you did.
Now I know you may ask "well how is that any different from now? How is checking a forum different from checking reddit?".
I used to think the same thing. Is it really that different?
I think that the internet has always had some degree of checking in it. But the rate has increasedly unnaturally for profit reasons.
The rate of users is much higher than it used to be. There was a time on the internet that 1,000 views was a big deal. Now things can get millions of views but still feel niche.
The first billion view video was a viral sensation! It completely changed how Americans (and other countries) viewed K-Pop, a trend which continued in the rest of the decade.
This video is currently one of the top viewed music videos. (1.5 Billion when writing this) I had never heard it before. Sorry to those who have, if you somehow find this.
I'd like to call this "view inflation". (can also apply to likes/reactions/etc.) In the past the power of a view stretched farther, but now it takes more and more views to have the same effect.
This also happens with users. The assumption is to think that more = better. More users = better content right? I think what happened is best described in a few parts.
[TW: Food comparisons made, feel free to skip this part as needed]
It's been regularly observed that the more users there are, the more there is more content. But that doesn't always mean it's good content.
More bad content to scroll through means, you go farther and farther until you feel satisfied.
Some call this "digital junk food". I know people are iffy about labelling food as good vs bad. However, as a metaphor I think it works okay.
Imagine all your life, your brain has been exposed to a well balanced diet. But then one day you decide "everyone is really into this new trendy food, so I'll give it a try!"
Now normally when it comes to physical food, one time probably won't get you hooked. While there are people whose job it is to make food as appealing as possible for more sales, they can't force you to try it and like it. But when you're in a strange and unfamiliar setting, suddenly maybe that something sounds comforting.
It's not good for you, but it feels good, at first. Then later that day your stomach starts to hurt and you think "Why did I do that?! I knew it was bad for me!"
I think screen addiction is similar. It's not mentally filling you up, so you try to consume more and more hoping something will reignite that first time.
You're feeling all foggy and overwhelmed thinking "Where did all the good content go? It used to be so funny and interesting!"
Old creators burn out and fade away, replaced with new creators on the same cycle.
Again and again, it goes around and around.
New app,
new faces,
same cycle.
Eventually you get fed up and think "This is so boring! I hate this! But I can't stop! What is going on?!"
So you go looking for answers, some quick trick, some big gesture, a digital diet.
But like many diets, they shame you for failing.
Which hurts you.
Which makes you want comfort.
Which makes you want more.
Surely this will be the fix!
It's not.
What's not being told to you is what you've lost. That things weren't always like this, but a slow change, bit by bit. So gradual that you only realized after everything faded away.
Before I get into how the internet has changed, I want to explain why we end up like this.
Why I ended up like this.
When life gets hard, we look for a way out. We can only cope with so much.
For various reasons, things have been very hard for a lot of people. I won't go too in depth as that's not really my area.
The Covid-19 Pandemic greatly changed the world. The after effects are still changing the world as of writing this. (2023)
Some places are choosing to go on pretending it never happened. But it did.
For many people, this was their first major life event. Pre-Covid and Post-Covid. For others, it was another strike after previous major events. The whole world was impacted by it.
Many people were suddenly at home with too much time on their hands. Not allowed to go to places they had before, things they could do before, people they could meet before. People were losing years of their lives, or worse.
Boredom wasn't the only concern. Humans are social beings. We crave contact, both physical and emotional. Yes, even introverts.
It wasn't my first rodeo. I had been used to isolation and knew how to cope with it. But through Covid I realized how not normal that was.
I thought "I've been like this for years, and people can't do it for a few weeks?" It made me really consider "wow maybe actually that is really tough". I did take things seriously. That was more of a passing thought I had at the time.
What I'm trying to say is a bunch of people are still struggling from the aftershocks of Covid, physically, mentally, and emotionally.
Your life is turning upside down, you can't go out with people, everything is uncertain and new.
But the screens? They are there for you. They can entertain you, and inform you, and connect you with people from a safe distance.
As for parasocial, you can't go out and do things. You're lonely. You're stuck with people who don't care about you. But you go online, and there's a bunch of people just like you. They like the same hobbies as you, have some of the same life experiences, and so on.
So you decide, this is your tribe now. All gathered around one person or topic. And for awhile, you feel like you belong somewhere. You smile and laugh again. Maybe it's not so bad.
But then, when the screen goes off,
It's quiet.
It's empty.
It's slow.
It's cold.
It's lonely.
It's just you.
Oh no...
The bad thoughts are coming back...
The heavy feelings you don't want to face are coming back...
...
You suddenly remember, that those bonds don't exist outside of a screen.
Your real life sucks so much. You don't want time to think. Time to think means remembering the bad things. And so you dive back into the screens again.
...
Time has passed. Covid has ended. Things are "back to normal".
Why is everything so much harder now?
Why does everything feel like it's about to end?
Why is taking one more step or breath so so hard?
But no one sees. No one can relate. So you swalllow those feelings and pretend everything is okay.
One day as you decide "I'm going to try and quit again!", you try.
You look around the room. Everyone else is on their screens. Zoned out. Just like you were.
And like other addictions, when the whole room is smokers, it's much easier to smoke than not.
You want to fit in right?
You want to have fun right?
...
You remember hearing how the opposite of addiction is connection.
"But how am I supposed to connect to people when we're all connected to the internet?!"
"How am I supposed to abandon this world I fit in, for a place where I'm rejected and misunderstood?!"
Oh shit.
Didn't Evangelion say something about this?
NHK definitely told you about this!
Maybe they had a point after all. Maybe they weren't just for nerdy otaku. (I know they are mainstream now, but I think that Eva is made by otaku for otaku in some ways)
It's strange. Seeing the trends that were big in Japan, reflect anew in America. A different name, but the same trend.
It's the same thing.
...
Isn't this an oxymoron?!
Aren't I a big hypocrite?!
If you hate the internet so damn much, then leave.
No one is forcing you to scroll.
...
"Why do you want to create on the internet to internet people if you want to be IRL so much?"
"Because I know there's people on this path I've been. And I know that ironic or not, that is how you reach them. We're all anxious shut ins lol"
Then I decided, if I couldn't completely reject the internet, I would find a compromise, somehow. That's where this site comes in. Instead of posting on a feed, I'll post here. Not on a forced schedule, but when I feel like it. A place that suits me better, where I don't have to squeeze myself into a round hole I don't fit in.
Thank you to all the people who encouraged me and inspired me to make this website.
I'm not saying I'll never go further. I can't predict the future. I want to create, and to share creation means connecting with people. If it ends up that way, it'll be at my own pace. At least as much as I can.
Anyways this got super duper long. I have a few more points, and then I'll get to what this was supposed to be for originally. lol
One change I've noticed and probably sounds pretty obvious is we don't have as many indie sites or niche sites in the mainstream anymore.
If you think "I want to talk about anime!", you're probably not thinking "I'll go to AnimeSuki or ANN!" in 2023. (although shoutout to them, I was a poster at one time)
It's more likely you're thinking /r/anime (Reddit with anime), AniTwitter (Twitter with anime),
or AniTikTok(?) (TikTok with anime). (Not so much with Twitter anymore but hopefully you get the idea)
You might think you're getting anime fans, but what you're actually getting is anime fans who use Reddit. Or anime fans who use Twitter. Etc.
And as we know by certain memes, a mega-site's tastes aren't always going to reflect your own.
You might not like the same jokes. You might think "maybe I don't like isekai #2436476 after watching hundreds of anime!". But that doesn't matter. There are people younger than you and newer to the internet than you.
They think tired cliches are the best thing ever, just like you did when you were their age. They think that reposted over and over joke is hilarious! They don't know about dead memes like this or that. And they certainly don't want to talk about that one anime from 13+ years ago that you swear is underrated!
(Edit: Also because all these subcommunities are on one big site instead of many mini-sites, it leads to a lot of crossovers and arguments that otherwise wouldn't have happened)
But the problem is, that place you had before. It's not around anymore. Sure it might still be open, but it's not the same. Trends change, people change, but you're still you. Probably.
Before you'd try AniTubers but now it feels so dull and everyone is hyping up trends while ignoring the not-trendy and...
Oh wait. the point. Please excuse me for my writing not being neat and organized. I try my best, but I do tend to tangent.
Anyways that's why indie sites are important. Because you get to know individuals or a small community, instead of a giant ever changing blob that wants the most updoots/reblogs/(insert thing here).
Once upon a time, the internet was ordered from old to new. Or new to old. Not a super big difference, probably.
Either way, the point was, you were going to have to read things the way they were posted. In order. No one was going to tell you what the best replies were, you were going to have to find it yourself. Sometimes it was like a needle in a haystack, but those needles you found were golden. You might even read people you disagreed with sometimes! Just because, it's in the order, why skip it?
Then people realized when you browse in chronological order, you tend to get bored and do something else. So it was decided, what if we give people what they really want? Fuck conversations (more about that here), let's give them the best tidbits! And thus skimming was trimmed. Context was removed.
In fact, time is merely an illusion anyways. So why not ignore that too? What this meant is everything became very short term based. Things were forgotten in weeks or even days or even hours, maybe even seconds.
Long term discussion was destroyed. As someone who (obviously by this length) enjoys that, it was rough. People didn't want to read long boring paragraphs anymore!
They wanted hot takes!
Quick quotes!
Repetitive jokes!
Repetitive jokes!
Everything is speeding up and growing, but there comes a point where it outpaces what our brains can handle. AI can instantly respond to you endlessly, but trying to do the same will turn out pretty bad. (Guess who also got addicted to AI chat? lmao)
(Edit: I ended up finding an article from someone older than me, saying similar things but about chronological order. I thought it might be an interesting contrast. You can check it out here.)
And that's about all I can think about the topic this time. lol
Onto the methods.
Disclaimer: Some of the methods below may mention certain programs or material. This post isn't sponsored by any of them. This was all by trial and error. I use Android for mobile and Windows for desktop, so I can only give my experience with those systems.
Your mileage may vary.
I think it can be helpful, but there's a catch. By default greyscale is usually all or nothing. Either everything is in greyscale, or everything is in color.
Usually I would find myself wanting to look at something specific in color, then forgetting to turn it back on. (Both for mobile and desktop greyscale shortcuts.)
There is a way around this on Android, but it does require some extra effort. There's an app called [removed]. You will need to connect your phone to a computer to give the app permission to display the effect. But if you do, it'll let you choose per app if you want it on or off. So if you wanted the Photos app in color, but social media in greyscale, it will let you do that. It also has the option to do it on a schedule by time of day, or by battery level.
(Edit: This app doesn't work anymore so I removed it)
Another one I had trouble with was when it came to the mobile browser. Per app is easier to manage, but because the browser is all sites in one app it gets more complicated. For Desktop browser, I found myself not sure about which sites should stay greyscale or not.
Also I noticed some newer Android phones have a built in "bed-time mode" that will auto greyscale at night. I will admit my phone model is usually several years behind, so I only recently had a model with a built in "digital wellness" app instead of having to use third party apps.
Even if it's a bit unclear about which way to do so, I think it can help depending on the person. Not because I think it's the biggest change or an instant cure-all, but a lot of things try to use a lot of color (like bright reds) and reducing it might have a subconcious effect.
One downside is I find it's harder to see in bright light with greyscale sometimes.
I've gone back and forth on this a few times.
Sometimes I use a grey background and basic clock. Sometimes I use a themed wallpaper.
I'm not really sure if it makes a huge difference.
I've also tried quote wallpapers or question wallpapers but they aren't effective for me. Eventually I tune it out.
This is probably my personal favorite, but also the one I get questioned about most by others.
Pretty much the idea is instead of a homescreen with a bunch of widgets, and colorful app icons, and detailed wallpapers, it's reduced to a simple layout. There are a variety of app launchers on Android that do this slightly differently. I've used Aero - Minimalist Launcher and Slim Launcher. Aero has an app list when swiping right (you can hide names from the list too).
Part of why I like it is it's way less info for me to look at. It's just the time, the name of the app, and options. (Also lets you rename apps which I find helpful.)
Another positive is if you use any App blockers or pausers, you can include the launcher app as well as needed.
I don't think this is for everyone, and I think some default-style custom icons and themes look really nice. But maybe give it a try and see if you like it? You can always revert back if you dislike it.
I feel like after the adjustment period that I would like to keep this permanently moving forward assuming future phones still allow it.
This is my 2nd favorite.
I used to have a lot of notifications. I felt like I needed to know right away when something got posted or someone responded. But eventually I got tired of being pestered hundreds of times a day.
I think this is a good long term change. I've adjusted to it. When someone showed me their phone and it had 20+ notifications in the tray, plus breaking news alerts, I felt really overwhelmed just looking at it.
I also turned off the notification icons in the header. I find they were a constant distraction, and if I really need to see it, it'll be in the tray.
One thing I will say is even with reducing my notifications to less than 5 apps, I still get a lot of pings because of instant messaging.
I'm surprised I didn't try this sooner. I always liked the Kindle cases with magnetic closing. I think they are getting more popular? I've seen some themed ones.
But for a long time the one-sided cases were the default. I like the wallet case because it feels like it adds a layer of separation. The phone is closed when it's off, instead of the screen being open. It also takes very slightly more effort to check it, as you have to move the magnet to open the case first, instead of only pressing one button to instantly turn the screen on.
I don't think it's the biggest change and I don't think it'll stop phone use. But from a usage point I like it.
I really like this idea.
If you are really using your phone for texts/calls, it doesn't make a huge difference if it's right by your side or across the room. (there are exceptions of course)
I'm old enough to remember when home phones still existed. Not commonly used, but having it in one spot meant it had a place. I think sometimes with newer items we're not really sure where to put them. Or worried about having it charged.
I like the idea of giving it a home, because scrolling won't be the default behavior, but having to go over to check it.
I tried this once thinking it would help me remember to reply to people. It got annoying quickly lol
It often glitched and even when set to "every 15 minutes" it still felt like every 3 minutes.
Want to control when your phone makes noise during certain times of day, but do not disturb is too much? Polite can help schedule times of day you want your phone on vibrate or silent. (Android only)
I know this is going to sound ridiculous. But I had heard a few people say it worked for them, so I wanted to try it. I didn't go and buy a new phone for this. I tried using an older phone that was being unused.
Maybe it'll work for some people, but not for me. The idea is you have your main "dumb" phone you take everywhere, and your side "scroll" phone where you can scroll on it. (There's also variations where one is an actual dumb phone, or a "scroll" tablet)
What actually ended up happening is one phone would get neglected, and I ended up scrolling anyways. I felt really embarassed about this one.
I've tried app blockers many times. I've tried several different apps and methods. I usually end up going either too strict or not strict enough.
It just doesn't work for me.
My favorite was Stay Focusd. (Desktop Link) (Mobile Link)
This one seems a bit more promising. It's not outright blocking you, but instead delaying instant gratification and making you reconsider mindless behavior.
I've used One Sec on Desktop and Mobile.
I found I would get annoyed at the default message, but when I changed it to "Now Loading..." I found myself accepting it more. lol
The Desktop version of One Sec has some free options. Mobile version has more options if you pay to unlock them.
Edit: I started using ScreenZen on 01/22/24. It's currently Mobile only. (Google Play Store Link)
I like that it has multiple options for the pause screen, flexible block and pause options, and multiple app groups. These features are for free too as of writing this.
I tried this. It was a $30 flip phone. Technically a lot of the newer ones are on Android, but the screen size and keyboard increase effort. Many older dumb phone models don't work with modern services because of 2G and 3G being shut down.
I feel like this can work, but for me the connection wasn't always the best. I'd occasionally get texts and calls that never went through. Other than that, this could be a good main phone depending on how many smart features you use on a daily basis.
I'd like to give this another go in the future when I can afford to.
This might be good to try if you can't quite give it up completely. More info here (iPhone) and here (Android).
Having the app store at all means it's easy to slide into grabbing more apps on a whim. It's also hard to view it as "dumb" when many devices come preloaded with 20+ bloatware apps that are difficult to remove.
I haven't been able to try this as I wasn't able to afford $60+ on a box that might not work. But it might be helpful for some.
I feel like as the years go on this gets less controversial, but still worth mentioning. If you don't want to quit completely, I feel like it's a lot easier to reduce time on desktop than mobile. Desktop tends to give more control over the experience than default mobile apps too.
I feel like this is the digital equivalent of constantly checking the scale. I don't like looking at screentime. It makes me feel defeated. Maybe for some people that works, but to me I already feel enough shame without needing to shame myself for wasted time too.
I tried this. I got rid of my old Steam account and sold my Switch. But I don't think it makes sense long term. I could go 100% gaming free, but I don't consider myself a hardcore gamer.
I enjoy gaming every now and then, and removing that didn't make me more productive by itself.
There are some things I need to go cold turkey on, but I'm okay with the occasional game session. Maybe I'll change my mind in the future, but that's what I think currently.
I've tried a few cheap ones. Still trying to find one that works for me.
I'm debating trying a physical regular old radio. Usually the long ad breaks frustrate me, but I really want some screen-free smartphone-free entertainment. lol
For anyone coming from NoSurf-like spaces you probably know these already, but just in case, here are some books that talk more about this subject. I'm only including ones I've read at least once. You can check out the NoSurf book list, activity list, and resources for more info.
A question that comes up is which is better: a singular all-in-one device? or multiple single-use devices?
I think it depends on the person.
At first I thought all-in-one would be better. But after having time to adjust, I found myself wanting to use single-use devices again.
I think in the upcoming decade we'll see more people returning to single-use devices for certain tasks.
I think the point I've learned from all these different methods is you can't shame and control yourself out of a bad habit.
If you're feeling miserable in life, of course you're going to find it difficult to stop escaping it.
I want to focus more on building up things that help.
Yes I have a screen problem. But it's a symptom of deeper issues.
If you'd like to reply to this I have a comment box and a contact email.
If you'd like to support what I do, I have a Ko-fi.
