I've been writing about it for awhile on the blog, but I'm quitting NoSurf. I'm sorry to those people following me for that.
I won't be blogging about it here or reading the community anymore.
I will be removing some of the posts from the main blog page, but you can see them in the archive for now.
I am not quitting my original goal of minimizing wasted mindless scrolling hours, but I am changing my direction compared to 2023.
I will be explaining why in this post.
(My next post will probably be another anniversary post in a few months, unless something comes up to talk about.)
One of the first things people say when they see one of these posts is "Why are you talking about it? Just go".
I usually do. I will leave communities or sites without any posts about it.
But this time I wanted to explain because there are some people who followed the blog for this topic in particular.
Part of why I made the original posts is I had been lurking the community for several years, and I wanted a compilation of what I learned that was feed-free. To gather some of the general points I saw, and gather it into one bigger chunk.
This was something I mostly talked about only on the blog. I didn't really bring it up in videos or art.
That's because I felt like I wasn't the right person to tell that story. I was an internet addict for a long time, and still have above average screen time.
This is because I exist as a digital creator. My primary means of sharing my creations is online, and often use screens when making it.
I felt these two conflicting desires for a few years where one part of me wanted to leave screens behind, while the other part of me wanted to be on screens to share art.
I debated quitting art, I debated going back to the "real" world. But whenever I tried to quit, I remember why I was addicted in the first place.
I have severe social anxiety, and am a "quirky" person. I struggle to form in person connections. This is because real life relies more on facial cues and body language than texting online.
The internet was important to me because it connected me to people in a way that felt free-er and safer.
I'm still embarassed to talk about it, because it sounds dumb. But it's the truth. The internet has helped me become more social.
I think another reason is the sunk cost fallacy. I've spent more time online than in real life. Online you can go almost anywhere, but reality has limitations and cost factors to consider.
For some people they are noticing this more and more as prices go up. Going outside to socialize can be expensive. In the 2000s when internet was slower and text rates applied, it could cost a lot for giving less and slower content. But now most places offer unlimited options for browsing and texting.
What I'm trying to say is I could never give you the answer on how to quit, because I've never lived a life completely away from the internet.
I tried quitting social media, I tried quitting my smartphone.
But I'm quitting NoSurf because I can't deal with the guilt and shame from failing to completely quit anymore.
I felt like such a horrible person, for doing the things I enjoy, because it went against the extreme end of quitting everything completely forever.
I started obsessing over screentime, blocking and unblocking sites, deleting and reinstalling apps. Trying all the steps people said would help.
And in the end, not much changed. I'm still glued to the screens. I'm still recovering from number addiction. I'm still a socially awkward loser.
So don't listen to me. Don't ask me for advice. I don't have the answers either.
So am I going the opposite extreme and giving into 12+ hours of screentime and never leaving the house ever again? No.
One of the biggest things I lost from internet addiction is TIME.
Time I can NEVER get back!
While other people were making memories and living their lives, I was locked in my room scrolling.
Those are my wonderful memories to keep, for the very low price of "free"!
Because you're not paying with money, you're paying with time.
People will say "oh yeah of course you are, you're the product, you're being sold, unplug!".
But they don't get that in the moment, you feel fine. You think "I'm having such a fun time, look at all this cool content, look at these funny memes and cat videos, look at all my online friends and groups!".
But almost none of it sticks. One minute you're scrolling at 16, the next you're scrolling and you're 26.
And what do you have to show for all the typing and scrolling? NOTHING! Absolutely FUCKING nothing!
I've quit drinking alcohol, and I'm more embarassed about my internet addiction.
Why? Because it's admitting I tried everything and still failed!
I knew it was bad for me, I was warned, and I still did it. Over and over and over again!
I fried my brain, I wasted my time, because funny numbers go brrr.
You realize after being online long enough, that in the most oxymoronic way, the internet is NOT forever.
In theory, the internet could outlive all those things. As long as the servers are up. As long as the companies exist.
But that's often not the case.
A lot of the early internet relied on sites like Photobucket. And when they decided to lock and delete all the old photos? Sites that used to be text and images, were now only text with no way to see the images.
And this is talking less than 100 years. Imagine in 1000 years.
You think someone in 3025 is going to want to read some crappy internet post on ancient software?
The internet ages differently from reality. And this is what people are finding out the more online they become.
The reason why I keep talking about this is because I want more people to understand what they are sacrificing.
Not because I'm someone who always touches grass and never goes inside, but because I was an ADDICT. I see what happens when you're in deep and what you give up.
It harmed my life, I hated it, and yet it felt impossible to quit. Like a compulsion.
The internet is a tool. At the end of the day.
It's the email, it's the messaging, the sharing of knowledge, the connecting across borders.
I think what we are mad at is the addiction and corruption.
That while we want to chuck our phones into a lake, what we're actually pissed at is ourselves for falling for all the traps.
You think I don't feel like an idiot for falling for it? For thinking it'd end at poking your friend, and not... the internet as it is in 2025?
Do you think the people who dreamed about the wonders of the internet wanted this?
People making mindless ragebage, materialism flexing, people fighting with strangers over nonsense?
2 second trends? AI filling the internet with bloat?
If I have to the one of the people who says this, I will.
Not because I hate it's existence, but because I don't want to see it polluted and tossed aside. (though I understand it may happen one day)
Part of the reason I became addicted to the internet was because of what it used to be. And why I am trying to go back to that.
Because I don't want to forget why I liked it in the first place, what it used to mean to people.
No. I still want to find my own balance and path.
But I won't be doing it under the "NoSurf" label anymore.
Because I think the issue is deeper than mindlessly surfing.
It's the shift from text to video, the shift from log off to always on, the shift from passion to paychecks, from honesty to polishedness.
From people wanting to ADD to the internet, to people wanting to GAIN from the internet.
I am a digital creator. Maybe someday I'll change my mind, but right now being online is part of what I do.
So please, again, don't listen to me. Listen to people who know better than me.
But if you do listen to me, remember why the internet is a special thing. To grow knowledge and join new communities around the world.
Fight to keep what matters to you.
Part of why I started speaking up, is I didn't want to complain to the void anymore. If people wouldn't say it, I would say it.
But at the end of the day, I'm still a nerdy weeb. I'm still shy. I still struggle to figure out how this world is supposed to work.
Only follow me if you want to. I'm not some guru at all! lol
Thanks for reading! I needed to get this off my chest. I don't know what the way forward is, but I'll keep trying.
If you'd like to reply to this I have a comment box and a contact email.
If you'd like to support what I do, I have a Ko-fi.