Hey it's been awhile! I wanted to give a mini update with my thoughts.
A lot has changed since I started this website back in November 2023.
Back then stumbling on Neocities felt new and exciting! Like this new scene and vibe I had no idea existed.
I had all these ideas I wanted to do, and expectations, etc. Maybe a bit too much...
These days a lot more people are talking about Neocities and the Indie Web/Small Web. More people are saying they want to make websites.
At the same time, I am realizing what I want this site to be better. And I think that means I want it to be the way it is.
What I mean is I am not the type of person who does item of the day updates, or scrolling effects, or really aesthetic stuff. Not yet at least.
I tried a few years without any socials, and while I enjoyed it, I learned that as a creator I want to share some of what I make in a bigger way.
For awhile I worried about it a lot. Wasn't I being a hypocrite? Why would I study so much about it if I was going to reverse?
And I think it's because of trying things by trial and error, that I can be more confident on what works for me and what doesn't work for me.
⠀
For example I used to scroll Twitter on my phone daily in 2020. Now I check it once or twice a week on the computer at home.
I bought a blutooth CD player. Allowing me to enjoy physical media, but also connecting it to modern blutooth devices like wireless headphones or wireless radio.
And working on a website made me think about how I use the internet differently.
Another change is I went back to using a laptop. Because I realized that I enjoyed my screen time more on a laptop than I did on a smartphone. Does that mean I never use a smartphone ever again? No. I still have the occasional scroll session or game time.
But I do think that I am mostly more intentional about what I do online. And I admit to myself that sometimes I want to mindlessly scroll instead of raging about it.
I am considering giving a dumb phone another try in the future. Not as an act of quitting screentime forever, but because I want to continue being more intentional.
When it comes to screentime, it's not really going to tell you the dangers in the longterm. It'll focus on short term benefits.
Like I said earlier a lot of this has been trial and error for me. Doing things for doing sake and figuring out the rest along the way.
Getting into YouTubing and Streaming has meant less time for writing and blog posts. That's why it's slowed down.
I feel a bit guilty about it, but I don't think I'm quitting anything. I think it's more I'm changing and my creation is changing with me.
I still enjoy writing, I still enjoy expressing my ideas. But I want to do it differently.
Also I apologize for all the failed ideas and things that didn't work out.
So I think this website will become something I gradually update only when I feel like there's something new to add.
I've been working on SubStack and Discord server related work. And I know those aren't Old Web, but they're important to me too.
Also I tried reposting the blog on SubStack, and seeing it show up I felt super cringy and decided I don't want that being the first thing people see.
With Neocities people can choose when they want to be seen, but on external sites you lose that control.
I can't help myself. When I see eyes on my work, I feel stared at. And I can't commit when I feel like I'm being watched. Even if it is an oxymoron.
I still hope it's something I'll shake with more experience. The fear of being seen.
So I decided I will have side pages and side content that are just for me. And I won't tell anyone about them that I don't want to.
Part of me still wants to further indulge that sense of nostalgia and freedom, and I don't feel like I can do that here as much anymore.
What I'm trying to say is I want that 2000s feeling back in my internet life, and I can only do that with some space between my portfolio and my messiness.
I hope you understand what I mean.
Thank you for supporting the website these past few years!
Thanks for reading!
If you'd like to reply to this I have a comment box and a contact email.
If you'd like to support what I do, I have a Ko-fi.